Do You Mind....???

Di pelajaran Bahasa Inggris SMA, ada sebuah sub bab (cari aja di LKS atawa di buku paket) yang ngebahas tentang asking request apa tau...itu lho, yang depannya kita nanya “Do you mind...?”. Misalkan ,”Do you mind lend me your pen?”. Trus bakal dijawab gini,”Of course. Here is my pen”. S to the T, T to the A, A to the N, N to the D, D to the A again, A to the R. STANDAR. Kalo mau nolak, lo tinggal bilang, “I’m sorry, I am using it” (padahal dipake cuma buat gigit gigitan aja). Oh betapa membosankannya pelajaran Bahasa Inggris di SMA T.T.

Gue membayangkan bagaimana jika kita asking request...tapi permintaan nya yang enggak enggak. Rumusnya tetep sama, pake “Do you mind..”juga. Yak, ini dia beberapa permintaan absurd dari lubuk hati gue paling dalam.

“Do you mind go to your grandmother and say, ‘Unyu unyu’ ?”

“Do you mind I broke your SLR?”

“Do you mind if your mother go to your classroom and say ‘Baby, you forgot drink your milk’?”

“Do you mind I kick your ass?”

“Do you mind to warn me if I am ‘kesurupan’?”

“Do you mind if Ki Joko Bodo want you to be his grilfriend?”

“Do you mind if SBY fart in his speech ? Remember he is a human, too”

“Do you mind give me your best-damned-love-so-much Blackberry ?”

“Do you mind someone hack your Twitter ?”

“At last but not least, do you mind if everyone call you ‘bitch’ ?”

Sungguh pertanyaan di atas sangat tidak dianjurkan untuk diajukan. Thankyou.